Divorce and the Child Custody Evaluation

Getting prepared for the Child Custody Evaluation can be nerve racking, but if you take these things into consideration they can guide to you toward a successful Child Custody hearing.

You should be friendly, sincere and candid in your approach toward the opposing attorney. You should the look at the psychological evaluation as if it is a job interview. You should never confide with psychologist. If you do, it may be used against you later. Answer the questions in short, brief, direct sentences. Never give more information than you have to.

You should not say anything against the other parent and his or her family. Show that you know your children and you know about their interests, hobbies, teachers, friends, their educational aims, etc.  You should let the psychologist know about all the good qualities of your children. If the psychologist wants to know anything negative about the other parent, you should simply narrate an incident with the facts and stop at that, the psychologist needs to draw the conclusion.

You shouldn’t make any accusation regarding any type of abuse like physical, mental or sexual, until there is enough proof for the same. The psychologist can report to CYS for further investigation for child abuse, if you suspect child abuse, then you should report to CYS instead of making allegations, since false allegations can prove damaging to your reputation and this case as well.

You will require to prepare for the interactional sessions, for this you can bring games, food, homework, anything that might seem appropriate, you should not stray away from the target, you should also make a list of doctors, temples or churches, etc. schools, you should also be aware of any special need of your child and inform the doctor about how you are going to go about fulfilling this need.

So that you remain mentally strong, cool and collected you should get a good night’s sleep. You should pay the psychologist’s fees promptly and try to impress him since his report carries a lot of weight with the judge. In case the psychologist wanted additional information, you can send him information along with a short note about it. You should not call the psychologist unless he wishes so.

You should showcase the current needs of your children instead of focusing on the other parent’s failures. Since the contested Child Custody case is never a finality, you can modify the case and resulting Child Custody schedule at any time later.

Child Custody and Seeing Your Kids - Visitation

Child custody has several forms, sole custody and joint custody. Sole custody means one parent gets physical as well as legal custody. Joint custody is another type of child custody, where both parents get the right to have a share in making decisions for the child. There is also a type of joint custody where the child gets to stay for some period of time with each of the parent. However, it is said that this can be a bit difficult for the child.

It is necessary that joint custody that both parents are co-operating with each other regarding decision making about the child. It all depends on how the divorce proceedings have been, in case of a bitter divorce and conflict; it might be better that sole custody of child is awarded to a single parent.

It is required by the state laws that whichever type of custody is awarded, it is necessary that it should be in the best interests of the child. Unlike in earlier times, when mother was taken as the correct person to raise a child, today the court looks at the fact and selects the parent who has been playing an active role in raising the child.

The court allows periodical visitation rights to the parent who has not been awarded physical custody of the child; these visits take place in the home of the parent who has not been given the physical custody. However, the court might not give any rights for visitation if there is fear of any physical harm or abuse in the history of parents, the court instead of denying totally might give supervised visitation charges.

In cases where there are charges of abuse, especially sexual abuse hurled at one another by each parent, the court can give further instructions for investigation in case it is in doubt of these charges. Though there have been a number of cases where accusation of abuse has been used to get more money or to harm the spouse’s reputation.

However, if the accusation of child abuse does not hold true in someone’s case, he should not be silent over the issue and should try to gain help from several organizations which provide advice, support and sometimes legal advice. One such organization is VOCAL (Victims of Child Abuse Laws).

According to the law, visitation rights and child support payments are different issues, therefore though visitation has not been allowed one is required to pay. The court, while giving the custody of the child might take a view of ‘in best interests of the child’ where it considers several factors.

Most times both parents agree that the mother should get custody, but times are changing across the board and men are gaining more custody recently.

How To Care For Your Body During Pregnancy

Being pregnant means following a healthy lifestyle is more important than ever. It’s crucial to understand what steps you can take to keep you and your baby in good health.

Prenatal care is one of the vital factors that ensure a smooth pregnancy. The first checkup should occur during the first 6 to 8 weeks of your pregnancy, when your menstrual period is approximately 2 to 4 weeks late. For women who are relatively healthy and have no complicating risk factors, you will probably see your health care provider every 4 weeks until the 28th week of pregnancy, and then every 2 weeks until 36 weeks of pregnancy. After that you will have an appointment every week until you give birth through inducing labor or otherwise.

Nutrition

Proper nutrition is one of the best ways to enjoy a happy pregnancy. Because you’re eating for two, it’s doubly important to consume healthy foods and stay away from things that may harm your baby as it develops. When you’re pregnant, dieting and cutting calories is not a good thing - you will need to take in about 300 more calories a day to ensure you and your baby are properly nourished, especially as your pregnancy progresses. Caloric intake, however, can vary from woman to woman. For thin women, and women carrying twins, you may be required to consume more than 300 extra calories. Or, if you are currently verweight you might need less. No matter what, you’ll need to contact your healthcare provider to determine what’s best for you.

Of course, pure calorie consumption is not the only goal - you need to make sure that what you eat is nutritionally sound. Nutritious foods contain the essential vitamins and minerals that contribute to a baby’s growth and development.

Although a healthy diet is fundamental to caring for your body during pregnancy, it’s actually quite simple to integrate healthy living into your daily life. Maintain a well-balanced diet by following basic dietary guidelines. Lean meats, fruit, vegetables, whole grain breads and low-fat dairy products are all essential to maintaining good health.

Real, healthy food will provide your body with much-needed nutrients. At the same time, during pregnancy certain essential nutrients are required in higher-than-normal amounts. For example, calcium, iron, and folic acid are especially essential in the diet of a pregnant woman. Although your doctor may prescribe vitamin supplements, your diet still needs to contain nutritious food to provide your body with most of its nourishment.

On a normal basis, women need 1,000 mg of calcium per day, but during pregnancy, calcium consumption should rise in order to keep up with calcium loss in your bones. You can get calcium from a wide range of food products, including low-fat dairy products such as milk, cheese, and yogurt; orange juice, soy milk, and cereals that are fortified with calcium; dark green veggies such as spinach, kale, and broccoli; as well as tofu, dried beans, and almonds.

A pregnant woman requires 27 to 30 mg of iron per day because iron is used by the body to make hemoglobin, which is what helps red blood cells carry oxygen throughout the body. A lack of iron leads to a dearth of red blood cells, meaning the body’s tissues and organs don’t receive enough oxygen. With a baby on board, women need to pay extra attention to their iron intake.

Iron is found in both plant and animal matter, but the body absorbs it more easily from meat sources. The following are some foods that contain a good amount of iron: red meat, dark poultry, salmon, eggs, tofu, enriched grains, dried beans and peas, dried fruit, leafy green vegetables, blackstrap molasses, and iron-fortified breakfast cereals.

Many people have already heard about how important folate (folic acid) is for a pregnant woman. For pregnant woman, or those planning on becoming pregnant, it is recommended that you take 0.4 milligrams of folic acid every day. Many women choose to supplement their diet with vitamins in addition to any folic acid intake they receive from food.

It has been found that consuming folic acid 1 month before and during the first 3 months of pregnancy reduces the risk of neural tube defects by 70%, which is why it’s considered so critical. The neural tube is formed during the first 28 days of pregnancy, which is usually before a woman even realizes she’s pregnant, and it eventually develops into the baby’s brain and spinal cord. Lack of sufficient nutrition, particularly a lack of folic acid, may result in a neural tube defect such as spina bifida.

To remain healthy while pregnant, it’s also key to drink plenty of fluids. During pregnancy your blood volume increases, so drinking plenty of water is the best way to avoid dehydration and constipation.

Exercise is a great way to feel great throughout an entire pregnancy. There’s no reason to stop physical activity once you become pregnant; in fact, dietary guidelines suggest that you take 30 minutes or more each day to work out at a moderate pace.

During pregnancy, regular exercise prevents excessive weight gain, reduces problems such as back pain, swelling, and constipation, improves sleep, increases energy, promotes a positive attitude, prepares your body for labor and lessens recovery time after labor.

Proper sleep is another factor in maintaining health and comfort during pregnancy. Pregnancy can take its toll, and after a long day you will feel more tired than usual. As the baby grows bigger, it will be more difficult to sleep, but try to sleep as best you can - it will do wonders for how you feel!

Once you are ready to give birth and are considering inducing labor it is wise to consider all the advantages and disadvantages. Indeed, several authorities recommend you give informed consent before labor is induced. Of course, the baby is an important concern when considering induction of labor, especially the baby's ability to breathe once delivered.

Following a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, exercising, and drinking plenty of fluids are all important to your overall well-being during pregnancy. If you strive to eat nutritious food and maintain a positive attitude during the course of your pregnancy, the good moments will definitely outshine the difficult ones.

“They Should Have Beat Me More” - The Cycle Of Physical Abuse

In December, 2005, I conducted a two-day workshop with men who had recently been released from prison for domestic violence. With the men were their wives, as well as the father of a batterer who was still in prison.

The father, Douglas, sat in front of me, sharing his childhood experiences.

“My momma was a very loving woman – a big-hearted, hard working loving woman,” he told me. From my many years of counseling, I knew that my definition of love and his definition of love were likely very different.

“Did she ever beat you?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. She beat me all the time. My daddy beat my momma and my momma beat me. But she beat me because I was bad. I was really bad. Maybe if she had beat me more, I wouldn’t have been so bad.”

“What did she beat you with?”

“Anything she could get her hands on. Extension cords, wooden spoons. Often I had to go into the yard and pick out the switch.”

“How did you feel when you knew you were going to get a beating?”

“Oh, I was terrified. I’d beg and plead and promise not to do again whatever it was she was mad at. But that never worked. I always got the beating. Then after the beating she would tell me that she loved me, that it was for my own good, and that it hurt her more than it hurt me.”

“And how were you bad?”

“Well, sometimes I’d come in late, and sometimes I would talk back. Then I got into alcohol and drugs at a very early age. Maybe if she had beat me more, I wouldn’t have done the alcohol and drugs.”

“Why do you think you did the alcohol and drugs?”

“I was just hurtin’ too much. It took me outta all the pain for awhile.”

“What was the pain?”

“I don’t know. I was just hurtin’ a lot.”

“Do you think it is possible that you were hurting because the woman who was supposed to protect you was instead hurting you? That she was confusing you by telling you she loved you while she was beating and terrifying you? That there was no one to turn to for safety and nurturing? That you were scared much of the time for fear of the beatings? That you were terribly lonely and could not turn to your parents because they were the ones causing the pain?”

Silence………Then he looked at me in shock. As the light bulb when on in his mind, the tears started rolling down his weathered cheeks. Soon he was sobbing.

“That’s right…That’s right….The beatings were the problem. More beatings would not have helped. And I beat my children thinking it was the right thing to do, and now my son is in prison for beating his wife and protective services want to take away their daughter. And I almost hit her the other day when she didn’t mind me. I’m so glad I didn’t. This has to stop! This has to stop!”

I looked around the room. Everyone was in tears. Kathy, the wife of one of the batterers, spoke up, sobbing.

“I’ve always hit my kids, and no matter what anyone told me about it not being good, it never made sense to me. This is the first time I understand why it’s not a good or loving way to discipline my kids. And I can see why I’m having so many problems with my older son and why he is on drugs. He has always been furious with me and I had no idea why. Now I understand. I need to learn a new way to discipline. I’m going to take a parenting class and start reading parenting books.”

I hugged Douglas for the profound work he did, and for the effect his work was having on everyone in the room. I thanked God for giving me the privilege of working with these people. All of them, it turned out, had been severely beaten as children.

I am deeply grateful to James Beard who conducts workshops within the prison with batterers and to Lindsay Wagner, who also works with these men and their families. Both of them were assisting me at this workshop. We all smiled at each other in deep gratitude for the healing that was taking place.

Exercise During Pregnancy: Can You Continue With Your Normal Routine?

Can you continue with your normal exercise during pregnancy? Well, back in the old days, pregnant women were considered to be fragile beings that should be hidden away until delivery. Thank God we don’t live in those times now.

Just because you’re pregnant, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get out there and get some active exercise. After you get the “all clear” from your doctor, be sure to fit in daily exercises during your pregnancy. In order to clear you for exercise, your doctor may give you some guidelines to follow to ensure a healthy pregnancy, but to get you started, here are some exercise guidelines of our own.

Sports & Recreation activities and exercises to avoid include:

-Contact sports and most competitive sports

-Any activity that can result in falling, such as downhill skiing or mountain biking

-Lying on your back or stomach during exercise, after the beginning of the fourth month

-Lifting heavy objects or heavy weight lifting

-Intense cardiovascular exercise – your heartbeat should remain under 140 beats per minute during your workout.

-Scuba diving or any activity that involves pressurized air

The most appropriate exercise during pregnancy can include:

-Prenatal Yoga

-Walking

-Swimming

Exercise is important during pregnancy. It can alleviate aches and pains, depression, and fatigue. Exercise also gives you the endurance and flexibility to get through your pregnancy and through labor. So what are you waiting for? Get out there, get active, and stay healthy. Exercise during your pregnancy is a great thing to do for you AND your baby.

Birth Control needs, methods and information available for today’s women

Need for birth control in today’s world

With the rapid growth of the population in the world as well as the increased sense in general awareness for HIV/AIDS, has forced to think on birth control methods. The current world’s population is estimated to be around 6.4 billion with annual growth of 76 million and hence, it is estimated to reach 9 billion by year 2050. In next two decades, world’s two highly populous countries, China & India are expected to reach the population of 1.5 billion each i.e more than one third of the total world population of that time. It is alarming situation for the world to control this “population explosion”. Therefore, United Nations are urging countries specially highly populated countries to control their population.

 As per the survey report for birth control methods if applied in 169 countries, 137 million women willing to delay their contraceptives, 64 million women are using less effective birth control measures. If these women are helped with adequate birth control treatment (like pills, condoms), 23 million of unplanned births, 22 million induced abortions and 1.4 million infants could be avoided as estimated by United Nations Population Fund.

Besides population, HIV/AIDS is also very important factor forcing the need for birth control. An estimated, world has 38 million people have either AIDS  or infected with HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). In seven African countries, one out of 5 adults is infected with HIV. Birth control methods are, therefore, become imperative to control further spread of HIV/AIDS, particularly in these countries. The population in these countries is projected at 35% lower by 2025 free from HIV/AIDS. It will further reduce the total life expectancy by an average of 29 years in these countries.

History of Birth Control
200 AD, Greek gynecologist Soranus said that women become fertile during ovulation. He suggested some birth control tips for women to avoid unwanted pregnancy like smearing olive oil, pomegranate pulp, ginger, or tobacco juice around vagina to kill sperm, drinking water used by blacksmith to cool hot metals and jumping 7 times backward after the sexual intercourse. Many birth control methods like ayurvedic treatments used centuries ago (aside from sexual abstinence). However, there are some historical records of Egyptian women are found who were using some herbal or acid substances like crocodile dung or lubricants like honey or household olive oil as vaginal suppository, which they may have found effective at killing sperm.

However, commercial use of birth control method started in 1960 in the form of birth control pill. It was in 1950, when Planned Parenthood Federation of America invited biologist Dr. Gregory Pincus to develop oral contraceptive pill that would be harmless, universally acceptable and safe for husband and wife. After under going many tests with more than 6,000 women in Puerto Rico and Haiti , it was 1960 when the first commercially produced birth control pill called Enovid-10 was introduced to women in USA . This first oral contraceptive was made with two hormones Estrogen (100 to 175 microgram) and Progestin (10 mg). They were proved to be 99% effective if taken as directed. With estimation, more than 18 million women in US are relying on birth control pills

Types of birth control pills
Unlike the decades old oral contraceptive pills (which had higher number of hormones), today’s birth control pills are in low-dose forms with health benefits. So, women can take birth control pills with much fewer health risks.

Generally there are three types of birth control pills available
1. Progestin only pills (POP)
It is also known as “mini-pill” containing no estrogen. It is recommended for breastfeeding women because estrogen reduced milk production. This POP pill works by thickening the cervical mucus and thus preventing sperm to enter uterus

2. Combination birth control pills
The widely known birth control pills are having combination of two hormones progestin and estrogen. These types of oral contraceptive pills come with the pack of 21 “active pills” and 7 “placebos” , which do not contain any hormones. These are, in fact, known as “reminder pills”

These combination pills are further sub-divided into three types of pills due to the level of two hormones progestin and estrogen.

i) Monophasic birth control pills
Here, every active pill contains the equal number of progestin and estrogen. The other seven pills are placebo having no hormones. Menstruation starts when these placebo pills are taken

ii) Multiphasic birth control pills
They are also known as biphasic or trphasic oral contraceptive pills due to different levels of hormones in active pills. These pills are required to be taken at specific time in its entire pills schedule. Multiphasic birth control pills help offsetting the risks of oral contraceptives.

iii) Continuous birth control pills
it is also known as 365 days pills to be taken continuously throughout the year without the year. This is the new entry of oral contraceptive pills in the birth control market. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved Lybrel, which is the only continuous birth control pill approved so far and available for general women use. Women do not get menstrual period while they are under the treatment of Lybrel, however, they might find some breakthrough bleeding or spotting, particularly at the initial stage.

3) Emergency birth control pills
Also known as “morning after pills”, these are designed for immediate pregnancy protection after the unprotected sex. It is highly recommended to take emergency pills within 48 hours and maximum 72 hours to be effective in avoiding pregnancy. These are different than usual oral contraceptive pills where you plan your birth control much in advance. Emergency pills are also taken when the women are sexually assaulted. FDA has approved Plan B as the safest emergency pills. Due to OTC (over the counter) approval by FDA for women above 18 years, Plan B can now be ordered behind pharmacy counter.

5 Steps To Raising Optimistic Children

100+ Parenting Mistakes helps parents avoid and prevent a total of 129 mistakes that will ultimately affect everything our children will do for the rest of their lives!

I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.

Where, I ask myself, did such a young person acquire this negative and fatalistic thinking?

The answer soon became apparent when I invited her parents into the session. They began discussing numerous life events and explaining them in ways that their children were learning. The car, for example, got dented because you can’t trust anybody these days; Mom yelled at brother because she was in a bad mood; you can’t get ahead in this world unless you know somebody, etc.

As a parent, your own thinking style is always on display and your children are listening intently!

The Importance of Optimism

Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: “Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health.”

Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives.

Because parents are a major contributor to the thinking styles of their children’s developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.

How Parents Can Help

Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to ‘teach’ them.

You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about life’s events – even parents!

Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.

For example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like “I wonder why I’m feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: ‘Now I’m going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldn’t drive during rush hour. How rude.’”

Step 3: Create a game called ‘thought catching.’ This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior.

For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: “When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?”

Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that they things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.

For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are ‘automatic’ in that situation.

Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your child’s automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).

Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to ‘decatastrophize’ the situation – that is – help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.

Parents can influence the thinking styles of their children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking 

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"Clean Your Plate" Is Not Always The Way To Go For Healthy Kids

 

100+ Parenting Mistakes helps parents avoid and prevent a total of 129 mistakes that will ultimately affect everything our children will do for the rest of their lives!

According to obesity researchers, the United States obesity rate has more than doubled for preschoolers and adolescents-and more than tripled for ages 6 to 11-over the past 30 years. Obese children are at greater risk for health problems such as diabetes and heart disease, and often carry these problems into adulthood.

So, how do parents help children, and the entire family, eat healthier, both at home and away-from-home?

"Talk to your pediatrician, family doctor or registered dietitian to determine the healthiest weight goals for the entire family," said nutrition expert Jenifer Bland-Campbell, "then make a plan to tackle the issue."

She offers these tips to help parents help their families eat more healthfully:

1. Eat at least one meal together daily, at regular intervals to discourage snacking.

2. Prepare healthy dishes for the whole family, not just special foods for an overweight child.

3.  Don't use food as a reward, comfort or punishment.

4. Watch portions. "Clean your plate" is not always the way to go.

5. Eat slowly. It takes almost 20 minutes for the brain to register that the body is full.

6. Encourage water or skim or 1% milk instead of high-calorie, sugary drinks.

7. Getting kids to eat at least five servings of vegetables and fruits each day will not be easy, but focus on the colors to make it more fun.

8. Use low-fat or fat-free dressings, mayonnaise and dairy items at home as if they are the full-fat versions. Kids will take your cues. Ask for the same items on the side when eating away-from-home.

9. Take the stairs. When you go shopping, park the car farther away from the store and walk.

10. Limit television, video games or computer time. Free Parenting Advice And Support On Children's    Behaviour.

11. Replace mayonnaise and cheese on burgers or sandwiches with catsup, mustard or barbecue sauce.

12. Stick with items that are baked, broiled, steamed or poached-not fried.

13. Ask for nutritional information when eating out.

14. Look beyond the children's menu, often limited to fried, high-calorie, high-fat foods. Split one healthier adult entrée between two children.

15. Ask for a takeout container and put some of the food in before you eat.

16. Ask that bread, beverages and tortilla chips be served with the meal, not beforehand.

"Parents can help children reach wellness goals by first making healthy changes at home, then teaching kids what to do away from home," said Bland-Campbell. "Healthy eating does not happen overnight, but children take cues from their parents and will learn behaviors over time."

Bland-Campbell is a registered dietitian with ARAMARK, a company that manages food service programs at businesses, colleges, hospitals, and approximately 4,000 schools across the country.

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5 Great Ways To Enrich Your Children’s Conscience

Children are living with curiosity. They learn lots of things in life, gifted naturally with intuition, and open toward everything they find.

Everything seems to be interesting to them. That’s why they want to know about many things. It’s indeed a sign of good development.

Parents need to help children develop their conscience, which will be a great means of getting spiritual experiences. Through these, they’ll learn about self-esteem and moral values.

Of course parents want children have and familiar with good values in life. As parents, what can you do then? Here are 5 ways you can do to enrich their conscience:

• Give good examples. What you say and do everyday reflect what you think about the world. If you say good stuff, your children will do the same. Children are great imitators. It’s important for you to say and do nice things anytime anywhere.

• Listen when they talk. Sometimes your children ask questions that sound silly to adults, like “Mom, where does the sun sleep when the night comes?” Listen to them and answer seriously, “The sun doesn’t sleep. It shines in other places in the world.” By listening, children will feel that they get respect from their parents.

• Show happiness. Show and share all the happiness and positive energy and thoughts with the children. If you’re happy, they’re happy too. By doing this, the children will learn that life is enjoyable.

• Introduce them to nature. Tell them that all things happen in the world are connected to each other and that there’s a reason for it. For example, water is needed to irrigate plants and plants are food source for other living creatures.

• Be flexible with your rules. Children should be informed about what they should do. However, always take notice on their development. There will be time when they can decide what they want to do. By being flexible with your rules, children will stay cheerful and expressive.

Those 5 tips are actually easy to carry out. Just place yourself as your children’s parents and friends as well.

Again, remember that children are good imitators. Once you do or say something bad, there’s a great chance that they will do or say the same.

5 Must Ask Questions For Anyone Potty Training A Toddler

If you are thinking about starting to potty train your toddler, there are a few questions you should ask yourself before you begin potty training. Being well prepared for this challenging transition from diapers to potty is one of the best things you can do to make this as easy as possible on your child.

1. Is My Child Ready?
You want to start potty training at just the right time. You will know that your child is ready when he or she gets more interested in you going to the potty, tells you right away when the diaper is wet or pulls on it and seems uncomfortable with it. Give potty training a try, if your child doesn’t seem ready despite the signs, wait a few weeks and try again.

2. Am I Ready?
Just as important as your child being ready is that you are ready. Prepare yourself mentally for the transition from diaper to potty for your child. You will need a lot of patience and understanding. There are going to be resentment, tears and the occasional accident. Make sure you are prepared for this so you can stay calm and supportive for your child.

3. Do We Need A Potty Chair?
A regular toilet is very intimidating for a child. The seat is rather large and your child will have to hold on to avoid falling in. In addition “things” vanish in there when you flash – which can be a pretty scary thought for your child. Many kids are more comfortable with a potty chair at first. After a few weeks you should be able to move on to a potty seat insert that fits on your regular toilet eliminating the potty cleanup.

4. Should We Use A Potty Doll?
A potty doll is not a necessity when it comes to potty training, but can be a great tool. A potty doll will pee like an actual child and usually comes with diapers, panties and a potty chair. The doll can help tremendously during the pre-potty training phase when you are getting your child used to the idea of going in the potty instead of the diaper. You can illustrate what’s supposed to happen on the doll and let your child warm up to the idea by playing with the doll in the same fashion. When you are ready to potty train, put the doll on the potty right next to your child.

5. Should We Use Potty Training Rewards?
Before you start potty training, you should decide if you are going to use some sort of rewards as encouragement for your child, or if you will simply make your child feel great about his successes by being his cheer leader. Simple potty training rewards can include stickers, candy like a few jellybeans or M&M’s, or you can use some sort of tracking chart for bigger rewards (i.e. If you use the potty for an entire week without accident, you get a small toy). Using simple rewards can be a great potty training tool, but it isn’t by any means necessary as long as you get the message across to your child that you are proud of him.

Take a few minutes to answer these potty training questions for yourself and go over them with your spouse as well to ensure you are on the same page before you start potty training your child. It will help you give your child a clear picture of what you are both trying to accomplish and will cut down on any confusion.

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3 Reasons Mom Should Have A Hobby

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Moms these days are so very busy, but we're more stressed than ever before and in need of lifestyle choices that help us be happier. Pursuing a hobby may be just the ticket.

Here are a few reasons why a hobby is a great idea, even for a busy Mom.

Having a hobby relieves stress and tension

Spending time with a hobby replaces negative thoughts and replaces them with positive thoughts and feelings. Having a hobby or creative outlet can lift your spirits and help with depression.

Unlike passive activities like television viewing, a hobby provides intellectual stimulation while simultaneously relaxing you. Repetitive actions like those used in knitting are especially calming.

Hobbies help you parent better

We are so good at signing our children up for lessons and classes and encouraging them to have hobbies, even paying for these classes and driving them to and fro! But we forget that we also need to learn new things and grow as people. Hobbies also connect you with other people who share your interests.

A hobby can help you maintain your separate identity as a real person and not just as Mom. This models healthy habits and boundaries for our kids.

Hobbies provide a refreshing change from your daily routine

If you're a stay at home Mom, you may be frustrated because at the end of the day you can hardly point to anything you've "done". This is because of the repetitive nature of housework and childcare.

In generations past, women pursued hobbies like quilting, sewing, knitting, crochet and embroidery not only because they were enjoyable but because they provided tangible value to the family, either providing clothing for their backs or much needed income.

Some hobbies like tennis, gardening or belly dancing can even provide great exercise with all of its accompanying benefits. The best exercise activity is one that combines mind and body and is enjoyable to pursue.

Why not carve out some time to pursue your hobby Mom? Don't let a shortage of time stop you. Rearrange your schedule and put YOU back in it, and start carving out time for your favorite pastime.

"Parenting Tip: 7 Ways to Complement Computer Games and Unleash Your Child’s Creative Genius”

If you want to know about children games, then this article is for you. Perhaps you have fears about allowing your children play computer games, then there are things you must about vis-a-vis allowing computer games. The article will discuss computer games and alley your fears on whether the children should be allowed access tocomputer games.  

Though we may enjoy playing them ourselves, many parents worry about the impact of computer games on their child’s development. We fear that letting our kids play computer games for more than an hour or so per day will turn them into anti-social, obese couch potatoes. It would be better to have our children read or to read child stories to them, we think. Yet, computer games are here to stay, so rather than fighting them, why not use them? This article shows you how you can let your child play computer games yet still foster the development of their creativity.

The issue that many parents have with computer games is that, compared with reading a child story, they don’t require the use of a great deal of imagination. Here are seven ways in which you can complement computer games to foster the development of your child’s creativity:

#1 Develop character profiles

Some computer games have characters. With the Harry Potter games these characters are already well-known and well-developed. With other games, however, the characters may be more “shallow”. This is a perfect opportunity for your child to develop the characters further. They can invent a profile for the character, imagining who their family is, where they come from, where they go/went to school, what hobbies they like to do, how they feel, etc. Your child can then make sketches or drawings of the character and scenes from their life: past, present and future. Finally, your child can create profiles of the other people in the character’s life: friends, family, pets, colleagues, droids, etc.

#2 Create Storyboards

If you think about it, a lot of computer games are nothing more than interactive stories. So, your child can create their own stories using the characters from their favorite computer games. Think of this as an extension of the computer game. You could even pretend that you work for the computer game company and are creating a new version of the computer game.

There are several ways you can approach this depending upon you and your child’s preferences. You can write a script, create cartoon-like illustrations, create illustrated scenes (i.e. pictures) only, or create pictures with accompanying text.

#3 Write a Diary

It could be interesting for your child to get inside the head of some of the characters. Incidentally, this is also a good way to develop a child’s empathy. Have your child write a diary as if they were one of the characters.

#4 Develop a Virtual World

One of my sons has developed his own virtual world. He’s created detailed maps, descriptions of all the creatures, plants (more than 100 in all, fully illustrated) and lands in it, and a complete history of this imaginary world. Your child can create a virtual world that is either an extension from an existing computer game or something completely new.

#5 What’s Cooking?

If your child likes to cook, why not develop some special recipes of what people eat in the computer game’s virtual world? What’s their favorite food? What is the national dish? These “recipes” could be from real, edible foods or other non-edible materials (make sure your kid doesn’t eat the latter!).

#6 Get Hands On

Some children are kinesthetic learners; they learn by doing. If your child is one of these, they can create 3D models from clay or papier mâché of the characters from a computer game. You can even create life-sized models in your garden/backyard. For example, you can carve a character from an old tree stump or log.

#7 Create Your Own Computer Game

In the area of computer games, what could be more creative than creating your own game? When they create a game, computer game companies go through a process similar to some of the steps described here so you might be able to use the results of your fun work to create an actual computer game.

There are hundreds or thousands of software tools you can use to create your own games. However, unless you’re a “techie”, it’s probably easiest to use one that doesn’t require any programming or advanced computer skills.

Software tools such as “The 3D Gamemaker”,* for example, allow you to create games simply by pointing and clicking. The 3D Gamemaker has a library of scenes, sounds and 3D objects that you can combine into your own games. Obviously, this is a bit less creative then making a game from scratch, but you can also scan in your own images, record your own personal sound effects and import your own 3D models to make your game more original.

The Multi-Choice Creation System (MuCeS) lets you create Multichoice adventures in which the game player chooses one option out of a number of given options depending on what she thinks will be best for a given situation.

The above are only two examples of the possibilities. The point is that you don’t need to be a “rocket scientist” in order to create your own computer games. Imagine how thrilled your kids will be to create their own games. Playing computer games will never be the same again!

Conclusion

Some parents regard computer games as an “unhealthy” influence on their children, but when you combine computer games with some of the “offline” child story creation activities described here, you’ll not only unleash your child’s creative genius, you’ll have a lot of fun doing it.

* Note: I have not (yet) used any of the software described here. The products mentioned are provided purely as examples.

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3 Key Challenges To Reduce Homework Time and Stress - What Parents Can Do

Parents have asked us why homework takes their child 2, 3 and even 4 times longer than their peers and what they can do about it.  This article defines the 3 key issues and what parents can do about it.  Student’s key issues often include:

1-  Attention is a major problem, both in class and while doing homework

2-  They often have one or more vision issues – too often these student’s eyes are either: not working together; skipping words or lines when reading; or they have difficulty copying off the board

3-  They become tense when doing homework and often lose it

When a student has trouble paying attention in class, they often must be re-taught the information at home.  What makes matters worse is that the students homework time which should have taken 45 minutes gets stretched to 1 and ½ hours due to re-teaching, and then to over 2 hours because they cannot stay focused.  

Vision issues impact their homework in several ways:

1-  They have trouble copying the notes off the board correctly and you spend time trying to understand the assignment

2-  They skip words or lines when reading, further complicating life

3-  When they do math problems they do not often align their work correctly, they miss minus and division signs so they make careless errors

Students often get tense when doing homework and battles often follow.  What often happens is:

-  Students are too intimidated to ask questions in class and they simply get stuck  

-  The student or parent gets angry and then …

-  An argument starts which often escalates into a battle royale

What we recommend is that parents:

-  Stay clam when doing homework with your child 

-  If your child gets stressed, give them a 1 or 3 minute break

-  Hydrate them before doing homework and while doing homework

-  When reading, use an index card or their finger to keep them on the right line

-  If the attention is a significant issue, consider getting an ADHD diagnosis – if they have a learning disability or attention issues significantly impact their academic performance, the student could qualify for an Individualized Education Plan and they could get accommodations for homework which might include:

  o  Getting copies of notes – either provided by the teacher or by another student

  o  Seating by the teacher to improve attention

  o  Having the teacher check to make sure the student has written the assignment correctly

  o  Having you sign that they completed the assignment and putting it in a place they can find it

  o  An early warning system, where the teacher alerts you to issues early on

-  If vision is a major issue see an optometrist – even if your child has 20/20 vision

At 3D Learner we have helped thousands of parents and students to reduce homework time and stress.

7 Safety Tips For School Kids

Travelling to and from school is often not very safe. However, there are some simple rules that can help to make the school journeys safer, ensuring peace of mind for both children and parents.

1. Waiting for the school bus in the mornings, while traffic is at it busiest, requires a degree of commonsense. Try to have a safe place for children to wait at away from the street and heavy traffic.

2. Don’t let children move close to the school bus until it has come to a complete stop and the driver has signalled that it is safe to board.

3. At the end of the school day when children leave the bus, instruct your child to move away from the vehicle at least a dozen large strides to a point where the driver can clearly see them. This helps the driver and keeps the child safe as well.

4. Instruct your child to keep a close eye on all traffic near to the school bus. The law has some special protection measures for school buses, but car drivers are only human, and they can and often do make mistakes.

5. If your child walks to school, make sure he or she wears reflective material. Aim to make them as visible to as possible to all drivers. This will help to avoid accidents.

6. If a child rides a bike to school, instruct them to walk the bike through intersections, observe all traffic light signals, and be wearing reflective material. They should also be with a friend if possible as one can help to look out for the other.

7. If you take your own child to school in your car, always have older children in a seat with a safety belt on, younger children in a booster seat with a safety belt on, and very small children in special safety seats, all seated in the back with only you, the driver, in the front.

4 Parenting Styles

Every grandmother and grandfather will tell you hilarious stories of their children when they were first born. And for every funny and touching story they have, they will be able to tell you another for every hardship they encountered. Parenting is something that is done in many different ways by each parent. The following are four general styles employed by parents.

Authority: Authoritarian parents rule on just that: authority. Commands are given to children that they must follow regardless of the circumstances. If these commands are not followed, harsh punishment will ensue. These parents do not welcome feedback from their children. In fact, it is met with severe punishment. The children tend to be quiet and unhappy. They have more of a fear than a love for their parents. Male children have trouble dealing with anger and female children have trouble facing adversity due to their heavily structured life where nothing ever changes.

Indulgent: Indulgent parents tend to be described as lenient. They allow immature and childish behavior. These parents expect the children to learn from their mistakes and to fend for themselves in most times of need. These parents tend to be democratic and allow for feedback from there children on issues. They will hear both sides of an argument and usually make a compromise. Indulgent parents usually avoid confrontation with their children by all means, but do tend to be more involved and emotionally closer to their children.

Authoritative: Authoritative parents are a combination of the two styles previously mentioned. They are the happy medium. While expecting proper behavior from their children, they welcome feedback and questioning on certain issues. They’re able to demand things of their children but are also able to respond to what they’re child says, questions and requests. These children tend to be the happiest, most confident and self assured of all the mentioned parenting styles. It is very difficult to be a purely authoritative parent.

Passive: Passive parenting is being completely uninvolved. These parents may never be home due to immaturity, work or the like. These children are usually raised by grandparents, older siblings, babysitters or themselves. There is no parental involvement at all.What's Your Parenting Style and How Does It Influence Your Teen? Active Parenting for Teens with Michael H. Popkins PhD

We wish you many happy stories!

5 Tips For Balancing Work And Home

Most people understand how difficult it can be to balance their work and home lives once they get married and have children. Somehow it seems that work life or home life is always encroaching on the other and causing problems at work, at home, and many times both. However the following five tips are great options to help with balancing work and home.

Make a Schedule

The best thing to do when trying to balance work and home is to make a schedule. Know how much time you have and schedule your work time and your home time. Then, you will know when you need to schedule work and home events. This will make your life significantly easier and you will know which activities fit into which time frame. Just make sure you stick to your schedule.

Share Responsibilities

Many times work and home responsibilities can become overwhelming because one spouse is handling more of the responsibilities than the other. So, learn to share responsibilities at home and each spouse can be responsible for their work. Also, older children should have some home responsibilities as well to help parents balance work and home.

Leave Work at Work

Balancing home and work can be difficult because it is so easy to take work home. If you really want to balance work and home then you will always leave work at work and keep home a sacred place for family and home activities.


Dedicate Weekends to Home Activities

A great way to keep home and work separate is to always focus on home activities during weekends, or at least on days off from work if you happen to work on weekends. When certain days are home days and other days are work days then it makes balancing work and home considerably easier.

Plan

The best way to balance work and home is to always make a plan. There are tons of tips that will help you, but there is nothing like making a plan and then following the plan to really balance work and home. It might be difficult, but if you have it planned out and follow the plan you will be surprised how easy you can find a balance.

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3 Ways To Inspire A Love Of Reading In Your Children

 Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

If your child is showing little interest in reading, there is hope. Sometimes moms and dads have to get sneaky, but you can still turn your child into a reader, even if he is reluctant about it.

1. The Early Bedtime trick.
One of my favorite ways to get my kids to read is something they hopefully will not figure out until they have kids of their own. Two words “Early Bedtime”.

You might be wondering how an increase in sleep can help your child to spend more time reading. Well, here's the trick. Set their bedtime for 45 minutes to an hour before they need their lights out.

Here's how our bedtime routine goes. The kids brush teeth and use the bathroom. Then I read them their stories. This is all done before their official bedtime. Then, I simply give them an option. I say “It's time for bed, now. Would you like lights out or would you like to stay up and read for a bit?”

Unless they are really tired, they'll always choose to read awhile. I do not have to beg nor manipulate them into reading. In fact, they think it's their idea and they have grown to love their chance for a 'late' bedtime. Then, I back off. I don't try to instruct them in any way, nor help them choose books. This is their time. They can choose whichever book they like and look at it however they like until I come in to kiss them goodnight and turn their lights out. Of course, if they want me to stay and listen to them read, I'm more than happy to comply. Try it. It works. The Reading Lesson: Teach Your Child to Read in 20 Easy Lessons

2. Summer reading incentives.
You can sign up for a summer reading program at pretty much any library in the country. If your local library does not have a summer reading program, then create one at home, with rewards for reading books. You can use a Monopoly (or Life) board and allow your child to move one space for each book he reads. Or if you want to have more fun, let him roll the dice each time he reads a book and have prizes available for passing certain points.

Make sure the rewards are something very desirable. If your child values time with you more than toys, then set a date together doing his favorite thing. If he values a certain toy, let him earn it. Or let him earn a chance to get out of his regular chores. Take him to his favorite restaurant. Just have fun with it and he will, too.

3. Read the book before you can see the movie.
This is a standard in our home. We won't go see any movie until we've read the book. Whether my husband and I read the book to the kids or they read it alone, each member of the family can go see the movie after the book is read. So, if your child is looking forward to seeing the next Chronicles of Narnia movie, the next Harry Potter movie or the next Lemony Snicket movie, they'll have to read the book first.

That’s it. Three easy ways to turn your child into a reader for life.

 

5 Tips On Looking After Newborn Babies

Caring for your baby is certainly one of the most important things you need to consider once you became a new parent. There are many things you need to take into account in order to make sure that your baby gets all the attention. Fashionwings(TM) Feather wings Angel of Hope and Halo for Newborn, 0-6 Month Babies & Bonus photo frame set

1. Make sure that you feed your baby right. Deciding on whether you should breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby greatly depends on your personal decision and what your physician recommends. However, it has been shown that breastfeeding is still the best way to nourish newborn babies. Lots of benefits can be obtained through breastfeeding. Some medical studies have determined that breastfed infants have less hypersensitivity later in life compared with those who were raised with bottle feeding. This is mainly because the mother’s milk is known to contain natural enzymes and antibodies that can help fortify the baby’s immunity against infirmities. Aside from this, some doctors also believed that breast milk is responsible for superior intellect as he/she grows and becomes fully developed.

2. Practical sleep aid tips for infants. Sleep is crucial for babies because it has a direct effect on the child’s mental and physical growth. Newborn babies sleep for up to 17 and 18 hours a day. Parents should understand that babies sleep cycle could be pretty erratic. You may notice for a few weeks, your baby’s sleep may only last from approximately 30 minutes to 3 hours, and this can vary throughout a 24 period. But by the sixth week, you should see some signs of improvement as your baby’s sleep pattern becomes more structured. Newborns show signs of sleepiness by crying or rubbing their eyes. Newborns should be put down to sleep as soon as they feel sleepy. If you are not getting much sleep at night it may be a good idea to sleep when your baby does during the day if possible.

3. The proper way of bathing your newborn. Newborn babies need not be bathed on a daily basis. Bathing them two to three times a week is enough. Bathe your baby using sponge baths. This is imperative at first. Tub bathing your baby can only be done once the baby’s umbilical cord falls off to avoid infection.

4. Maintaining your baby’s optimal skin care. Newborn babies have smooth and delicate skin. For this reason, it is necessary that you use products that are especially made for babies. But before buying any baby product, it is best to consult your pediatrician. Most babies develop rashes from time to time and this is perfectly normal. However, if your baby seems irritated by a rash or has a fever, you should immediately seek advice from your baby’s doctor.
The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer
5. When to give the baby medicine. Like anyone else, newborn babies sometimes have special needs that require attention. When giving your baby medicine, it is important that you follow the advice of your baby’s physician. You need to know how to give the right dose prescribed by the doctor. It can sometimes be advised to start the baby with a small dose to ensure there is no adverse reaction to the medication.

The information contained in this article is for general information purposes only and is not meant in any way to replace advice given by healthcare professionals.

A Guide For A Mother Of A Newly Born Baby

Usually there is very little or no information known to most of the parents at the time of the arrival of their first baby. There are many new questions that come to the mind of the parents of a newly born baby like how to handle their babies first cold, how to make babies sleep, what kind of food is good for them till the age of 6-9 months, how to soothe babies teething pain, signs that tell if the baby is ready for the solid food and why the solid food is not good for them in the initial few months and so on. The list of such questions is endless.

We get a bunch of different advice and opinions on such questions from everyone we talk to and since babies don't come with a "manual" - it's hard to know what the right thing to do is. Thus, it is very important that the parents should educate themselves with the right ways or techniques to take care of their newly born babies.

As an example, we'll talk about a common problem - "Potty Training". There are seven stages of potty training. They begin with showing signs of potty training readiness and conclude with being able to use the toilet away from home. Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality

Signs of Readiness - The first stage of potty training begins when your child shows the following signs of potty training readiness:

- Express the need to go potty (verbally or through body language)
- Expresses an interest in the potty
- Uncomfortable in wet diapers
- Able to dress and undress
- Imitates family members
- Stays dry for two hours
- Has regular bowel movements
- Interested in big kid underwear

Introduction to the Idea of Potty Training - When your child shows a majority of the signs of potty training readiness, it's time to introduce him to the concept of using the potty. This can be done by reading a potty training book as a bedtime story or watching a potty training video or DVD together. Purchase a potty chair and let your child watch you use the potty. Children will often imitate family members.

Sit On the Potty - When your child has been introduced to the concept of potty training, he will probably imitate family member and sit on his potty chair while you use the bathroom. This is a good time to teach good hygiene such as wiping and washing hands after using the potty.

Use the Potty Sometimes - Be sure to give your child plenty of liquids and take him to the potty every 30 minutes. This will help build muscle memory. The first time your child uses the potty, make a big deal of his huge accomplishment. A hug, encouraging words, or a small reward can be good motivational tools and help your child feel proud of his or her accomplishment.

Use the Potty Alone - As your child gets more comfortable with the potty and his ability to control his bodily functions, he will go to the potty by himself. He will then come tell you about it. Again, this is a time for lots of praise and encouragement.

Transition to the Toilet - When your child is comfortable using his potty seat, it's time to transition him to the toilet. Many children are afraid of falling in, so you may need to purchase a toilet seat adapter such as the Flip-N-Flush or the PRIMO's Ducka toilet adapter. These devices reduce the size of the toilet hole, thereby making you child feel more secure.

Use Potty Away From Home - The last stage of potty training occurs when your child is able to use the potty away from home. Thankfully, there are many portable and disposable toilet seats available to keep your child from coming in contact with public toilet seats. Many public bathrooms have auto-flush toilets with electronic sensors. These sensors often fail to detect that a child is seated on the toilet and cause the toilet to flush repeatedly, scaring the child. Devices such as the Flush-Stopper prevent auto-flush toilets from flushing while your child is seated. Enfamil Newborn Infant formula Tub, 0-3 Months, 23.4-Ounce

Some children breeze through the seven stages of potty training in a matter of weeks, while other children take several months to complete potty training. Your child's progress depends on his or her stage of development, your potty training knowledge, and the potty training products you have available.

The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative

 

A Tad Bit Too Shy: When Parents Needs to Help Emotionally Withdrawn Children

Thoughts and Feelings: A Sentence Completion Card Game
Parents may not be fully aware of what is happening to their children's and their everyday activities. After coming home from work, parents usually do some household chores and prepare themselves for dinner, while their kids do their homework after arriving from school. Conversations would usually begin at dinner time, asking them questions about how their day at school was. Kids may share their quirky experiences to their parents, but teenagers would seldom do the same.

Adolescents would rather keep the details to themselves, and just share random events from their school. Many parents may be unaware but high school life may be found by their children to be quite a challenge. Peer acceptance is critical for most teenagers. In campus, they have opportunities to build new friendships. For some teens, school is also about facing up to the difficulties of bullying. Other students from school or even their so called “friends” could tease and bully them by saying negative things about them in front of many people. Sadly, this scenario is considered as normal for people their age. At this stage, your children may be emotionally sensitive and choose to remain secretive about the issues and situations that they face in school.

In case one of your children is having difficulty sharing stories, opening up, or is showing symptoms of depression --- that child may be having problems with self-esteem. It is not uncommon for teenagers to experience a form of inferiority complex since the adolescent years are really about establishing self-identity and building their own sense of self-worth. They may also have feelings of resentment, alienation, and unhappiness. These are only some of the reasons why children hesistate to share their experiences to their parents and other adults.

For parents who think that their children might be suffering from an inferiority complex, it is best to see and know the signs that your child may be experiencing. Your child knows what they are capable of, as well as their shortcomings. Bullying tends to point such negativity into the young adult, and perceives any form of criticism as a personal attack. Feeling bad about themselves, they usually have trouble feeling good with anyone else. They look hard for possible flaws and shortcomings of other people to try to convince themselves that they are not so bad after all. Response to flattery can come in two ways: desperate in fishing for compliments, while others may refuse to listen to anything positive since it would be in contrast with their own feelings. Another sign is how they project their weaknesses unto others in order to lessen the pain of feeling inferior. If blaming is carried to the extreme, they might think that others are actively seeking to ruin them. People who feel inferior likes to win games, but tend to avoid such situations because deep down, they believe they cannot win. They have beliefs that they themselves are not as interesting as others, and would think that other people would feel the same way about them. These are the most common signs of having inferiority complex, and parents should really take the time to help their children deal with it. Guiding children and teenagers in terms of their emotional and psychological growth is critical to the quality of their life.

In order to overcome such inferiority complex, these young adults should develop a strong sense of determination to change their present mentality. Initially, they would require a little initiative, be daring and should give up their inhibition. Parents should remind them that they do not need to be afraid of any body. Try to develop their positive thinking and make them express their views, in case they do not like anything. Always remember that everyone is unique in this world, and individuality is best in leading a good and happy life.

Helping Children Cope with their Parents' Divorce

Not everyone is blessed with a complete and happy family. It is quite acceptable to see broken families, children dealing with step mothers or step fathers, or children dealing with a single parent. Divorce is acquired by most couples who cannot deal with their relationship anymore, or simply cannot work things out between them any longer. When this happens, their children are the ones who suffer the most. They now encounter a state of depression, wherein they tend to think about what they had before as a family, their connection, their close relationship between each other. This often links to even more decrease in their happiness, causing further psychological problems if not dealt with as soon as possible.

When dealing with divorce, the couple themselves need to analyze and think of what is going to happen with regards to their shared finances, their house, and most especially the custody of their children. It is critical for each parent to know what the their children are feeling, since this is a state of anxiety not just for them, but also for their kids. Of course, feelings of depression cannot be avoided by everyone, since their lives are about to change, hopefully for the better. But divorce is a hard stage to manage because all family members involved have feelings of anxiety and sometimes depression, which could make things even worse to handle or accept.

Children with divorced parents can truly be unpredictable. Some may show optimism by showing that they are independent and mature with regards to their parent's condition. This can be seen when children are of proper age, and can understand this kind of predicament. Others may react differently, showing no emotions whatsoever. This situation must be guarded accordingly, since the child may suffer from anxiety or depression but is not capable of letting it all out yet. In this case, it is wise to let the child into family counseling, a good way to communicate and interact with their thoughts and emotions. In this way, they may be able to express what they are truly feeling about the situation, and the respective counselor can assess the child's behavior and can give an appropriate evaluation of the child. This can really help in finding peace within the child himself, and can also make him easier to accept the unfavorable situation. Younger children requires at least one from the couple to be with them during these kinds of situations  since they cannot take care of themselves without having at least a parent nearby. It would be recommended to try and talk to the child in a nice and loving manner, simplifying the events that are taking place. The child needs to know why his parents are not together anymore, so that he may not fall into a state of depression.  Giving extra time and effort to the children can be of great help to their emotional healing.  Children should be given the attention they need. Being able to communicate well with your children, asking them about their everyday lives, and just to be a part of their life can have a huge impact on their upbringing. Parents should continue to see, talk, and love their children even when the only option to take is divorce.

Rules and Laws when adopting step children

Adoption from abroad: be sure you understand all the rules and regulations before packing up that cat to bring back home. Here's why.(Helpful Hints): An article from: Cat Watch

When you are in a relationship with someone, you may end up making a decision that will change the legal custody over the children. If you happen to decide that you will want to adopt the children, then you will want to take the following inconsideration before you begin the process. 

First, you should know that the rules of adoption vary from state to state. Before making any decisions in the adoption, you will want to do your research and check all of the state laws pertaining to adopting of a partner's children.  Secondly, you need to know that in most states you cannot adopt a child unless both of that child's parents agree to it. Meaning, that the child that you would like to adopt, has to be available for adoption under the local laws. Your partner must declare that they want you to be the other parent to their child. Also, the other parent of that child must also agree to this. If the other parent of your partner's child is dead, you can legally adopt that child as long as your partner agrees to it. If the other parent is alive, you will want to make sure that they give up all their custody rights. 

After all of the consideration, if you decide that you would like to adopt the children, then there are several things that you should do. First, you are going to want to act like the child's parent. Remember, if your partner and you end up breaking up, you still have to take responsibility of the child. That also includes if your partner dies, then you will end up with the custody of the child. You will want to make sure that you do what is best for the child and the best for you. Also, you will want to take the child's feelings into consideration. You will want to make sure that if they have a parent that has died; you may end up getting spiteful actions from the child if you adopt them too quickly. They might feel like you are trying to replace their parent. You should always make sure that the adoption is for the best interest of the child and everyone else who is involved and that you are going what everyone would like you to do.

Adoption rights granted to unmarried N.Y. couples.(Brief Article): An article from: Trial

Adoption expenses credit: foreign-born child.: An article from: The Tax Adviser

Foster Child Adoption

Foster children present a very unique situation for
prospective parents. Foster children have either been given
up by their parents or placed in the system by a government
agency for one reason or another.

Foster children often move from parents to parents
throughout their lives due to behavioral or other issues
such as not fitting in with the adoptive parents lifestyle.

To consider adopting a foster child you really need to know
what is in store beforehand.

Before considering foster child adoption, you have to take
a hard look at yourself and what you expect out of a child
as well as visit an agency that handles adoptions of this
type.

They will usually sit down and explain the entire process
to you. The entire thing is very long and it will be a
while before a child comes to your house.

The agency will have files on a number of children you can
look over. Usually the stories that accompany the children
are sad, especially for older children.

There is often a history of behavioral, emotional, or
mental problems. This could be due to illnesses or abuse.

The age of the foster child is very important as well. Many
foster children grow older and haven’t been placed so it
can be hard or even impossible for them to accept you as a
true parent.
Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care
Trust is much harder to gain in an older child than it is
with a newborn or toddler.

The benefits of foster child adoption are many. You get to
provide a stable life for a child and develop a very
special relationship that might reach parent-child stage
over time. This can be one of the most rewarding things in
the world.
LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child
Child Custody, Foster Care, and Adoptions

Constructing Your Child's Healthy Sense of Self Esteem

Your Child's Health: The Parents' One-Stop Reference Guide to: Symptoms, Emergencies, Common Illnesses, Behavior Problems, and Healthy Development

Your child's self esteem is their mental foundation. A self-assured child is confident, secure, happy, well-adjusted and successful. They can solve problems that come their way, and it thrives under a loving parent's nurturing care. 

What are some good ways to built self esteem in your child? 

Most importantly, accept your child for who they are, and help them do the same. Teach your child that nobody is perfect, and that everyone makes mistakes. Show them how to learn and grow from their mistakes, and let them know that you also make mistakes.   Children with high self esteem are able to take lessons from mistakes and apply them down the road.  A child with low self esteem become frustrated and resort to self-depreciating behavior, such as calling themselves 'stupid' and vowing to 'never try that again.' 

Help your child discover their abilities and talents, and encourage outlets for them to build on and improve them.  Praise a child not only for improvements in abilities and skills, but also for the traits they naturally possess. Child Health Nursing: Partnering with Children and Families (2nd Edition)

Encourage your child to make positive choices.  Open an honest dialog with your child and discuss the possibilities with them.  Children who learn skills for making positive choices when they are younger are well-prepared for the tougher choices they have to make when they are older. 

Ensure that you spend lots of quality time with your child, at least once a week. Whether you are shooting baskets or going out to grab a hamburger, take time to talk and keep in touch.  If you find it difficult to squeeze in quality time during a hectic week, take the time to talk about things during the drive to school or while they are helping you put the groceries away. 

Health, Safety, and Nutrition for the Young Child