Control your Anger, Don't let it Control You

Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition.  But it can be a terrifying and degrading experience for your child if you're taking your anger out on them.  Physical and verbal abuse of a child can have lasting and lethal implications, so it's crucial that as a parent, you do whatever necessary to get your anger in check. 

As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger.  If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself.  If you don't, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline.

Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren't fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that's what they'll most likely grow into as well. 

It's important to 'pick your battles' when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don't warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry.  But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn't worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you're the one in control of your anger; don't let your anger control you.  Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong. 

      

"Because" Just Isn't the Answer

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Children are inquisitive by nature.  When they are younger, it's usually because they want to better understand something.  When they are older, it's because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way.  Regardless of their age, it's imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.  How Come? Every Kid's Science Questions Explained

Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it's important that they be home from their friend's home at a certain time or why they aren't allowed to play ball in the house.  But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy.  So when a young child asks "Why?" or "Why not?" when they are told they can't play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you've set forth, simply explain to them that "because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you."  You should avoid using the term, "Because I said so," as that only adds to the child's frustration and confusion. Questions for Kids: A Book to Discover a Child's Imagination and Knowledge

Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation.  When they question "Why?" or "Why not?" it's best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning.  "I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist's office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can't be late."  It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule.  "If you are not home by 10 p.m., you'll be grounded from going to your friend's house for a week." Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.  Really, Really Big Questions

Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker.  So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it's their way of understanding their world around them.  Questions Children Ask

Black Single Parents: Seek Help And You Shall Receive

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If before single parents were being scorned in public and were regarded as immorals, this attitude has, fortunately, been reversed in our days. Single or divorced parents are treated equally and are in fact being given special considerations by the Federal Government because of the hardships that single parents are facing in order to properly raise a child or children.

This special considerations are not only for 'white' Americans. Black single parents, just like any other citizens of the United States, may avail of the special programs that the Federal Government has for American single parents.


In Arkansas, black single parents may enrol for a scholarship program. They may attend college for free, while they receive a monthly stipend to help their way in school. In Arkansas, they believe that if black single parents are educated, or any other American single parents for that matter, their child or children will grow up a better person and citizen.

Everything starts from a family; and in Arkansas, they think that not only a household with a mother or a father can be properly called a family. Even a family being headed by a black single parent can create a happy, successful and peaceful family.

Black single parents who are currently jobless may get assistance from the local government for job placement. The local government will locate a job near the residence of the applicant so as for him or her to manage his or her household while he or she is earning for a living.

In fact, while a black single parent is in the process of job hunting, the local government may assist him or her with the monthly expenses that his or her household may accrue, until such a time he or she finds a job.

Local governments may suggest to black single parents, especially females, to work home based so that they can have more quality time with their child or children. It is now a fact that the internet is not just a medium where a black single parent may meet a new date. Everyone, especially those who has the will to do so, may earn decently through the internet. The Black Book for Single Moms: 30 Days of Inspiration

Top online shopping marts on the net today rake if not millions, billions of dollar as profit. Black single parents can partake too with the yearly billion dollars of marketing and for profit transactions in the internet. They can sell their own goods via net, and they can offer too their services via net. 

They can work as a virtual secretary, content writer, forum posters (yes, they can be paid for that), or marketing or ad clickers. There are various legitimate jobs on the internet.  All they have to do is scout via net for a telecommuting job and check their registration at the Securities and Exchange Commission if they really are a legitimate online business.

For household management, black single parents may find group therapy sessions designed for single parents helpful. Group therapy sessions are not only for the disturbed; these help groups are created with the help of the local government to assist white and black single parents in household management. 

Even before problems arise, this help groups are there to teach white and black single parents on how to maintain harmony in his or her household and how to be both a mom and a dad to their child or children.

So, of course, when problems arise, these help group will support white and black single parents all the way.  They will serve as a shoulder to lean on for white and black single parents who are not with any person to confide their problems with. Besides, sharing ones problems with a co-single parent is the same as sharing ones problems to a friend who understands.

White and black single parents must not pass the opportunities that the local government has in store for them. They can't stubbornly claim that they can raise their child or children on their own. They must accept the help that the local government has extended for them. These help are for the betterment of their household and should not be passed up simply for pride.Baby Jogger Black Parent Console for Mini Single & Double Strollers

Connect With Your Child But Don't Overdo It

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We all want to connect and be involved with our child.  Children of involved parents generally feel more confident, assured and have a higher level of self esteem.  They excel in school and do well in extracurricular activities and with their hobbies.  Connect with Your Grandkids: Fun Ways to Bridge the Miles

But is there such a thing as too much involvement? It's imperative when you're becoming involved with your school-aged child's activities and academics that you recognize the line of what being too involved can be. 

Remember, you're becoming involved in your child's life.  It's important that you don't intrude too much upon it.  Children need their space and privacy and they need to be able to develop their own skills, talents and abilities.  In our eagerness to help our child succeed, it's tempting to want to step in and start doing things for them because you feel they are doing it incorrectly or inadequately.  But remember, you had to learn too, and this is their chance to learn on their own.  The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time

Be there to encourage and support your child, and offer praise at a job well done.  But also remember to step back and allow your child to learn from their own mistakes, and to develop their own way of doing things. We all know from our own life experiences that there's always more than just one way to do something, and just because your child is doing it differently than you would doesn't make it wrong.  Who knows, it could present a terrific opportunity for you to learn from your child as well. 

In addition, try not to become too overbearing or nosy when it comes to their social life.  Be available for them should they need to talk and encourage them to share their troubles with you so you can help them sort through a problem.  But if they say they don't want to talk about it or they just need some time to figure things out for themselves, respect that need by letting them know you're available whenever they need you.  This is an important part of growing up and allowing a child to figure his own way through things is an integral part of that process.

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