Rules and Laws when adopting step children

Adoption from abroad: be sure you understand all the rules and regulations before packing up that cat to bring back home. Here's why.(Helpful Hints): An article from: Cat Watch

When you are in a relationship with someone, you may end up making a decision that will change the legal custody over the children. If you happen to decide that you will want to adopt the children, then you will want to take the following inconsideration before you begin the process. 

First, you should know that the rules of adoption vary from state to state. Before making any decisions in the adoption, you will want to do your research and check all of the state laws pertaining to adopting of a partner's children.  Secondly, you need to know that in most states you cannot adopt a child unless both of that child's parents agree to it. Meaning, that the child that you would like to adopt, has to be available for adoption under the local laws. Your partner must declare that they want you to be the other parent to their child. Also, the other parent of that child must also agree to this. If the other parent of your partner's child is dead, you can legally adopt that child as long as your partner agrees to it. If the other parent is alive, you will want to make sure that they give up all their custody rights. 

After all of the consideration, if you decide that you would like to adopt the children, then there are several things that you should do. First, you are going to want to act like the child's parent. Remember, if your partner and you end up breaking up, you still have to take responsibility of the child. That also includes if your partner dies, then you will end up with the custody of the child. You will want to make sure that you do what is best for the child and the best for you. Also, you will want to take the child's feelings into consideration. You will want to make sure that if they have a parent that has died; you may end up getting spiteful actions from the child if you adopt them too quickly. They might feel like you are trying to replace their parent. You should always make sure that the adoption is for the best interest of the child and everyone else who is involved and that you are going what everyone would like you to do.

Adoption rights granted to unmarried N.Y. couples.(Brief Article): An article from: Trial

Adoption expenses credit: foreign-born child.: An article from: The Tax Adviser

Foster Child Adoption

Foster children present a very unique situation for
prospective parents. Foster children have either been given
up by their parents or placed in the system by a government
agency for one reason or another.

Foster children often move from parents to parents
throughout their lives due to behavioral or other issues
such as not fitting in with the adoptive parents lifestyle.

To consider adopting a foster child you really need to know
what is in store beforehand.

Before considering foster child adoption, you have to take
a hard look at yourself and what you expect out of a child
as well as visit an agency that handles adoptions of this
type.

They will usually sit down and explain the entire process
to you. The entire thing is very long and it will be a
while before a child comes to your house.

The agency will have files on a number of children you can
look over. Usually the stories that accompany the children
are sad, especially for older children.

There is often a history of behavioral, emotional, or
mental problems. This could be due to illnesses or abuse.

The age of the foster child is very important as well. Many
foster children grow older and haven’t been placed so it
can be hard or even impossible for them to accept you as a
true parent.
Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care
Trust is much harder to gain in an older child than it is
with a newborn or toddler.

The benefits of foster child adoption are many. You get to
provide a stable life for a child and develop a very
special relationship that might reach parent-child stage
over time. This can be one of the most rewarding things in
the world.
LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child
Child Custody, Foster Care, and Adoptions

Constructing Your Child's Healthy Sense of Self Esteem

Your Child's Health: The Parents' One-Stop Reference Guide to: Symptoms, Emergencies, Common Illnesses, Behavior Problems, and Healthy Development

Your child's self esteem is their mental foundation. A self-assured child is confident, secure, happy, well-adjusted and successful. They can solve problems that come their way, and it thrives under a loving parent's nurturing care. 

What are some good ways to built self esteem in your child? 

Most importantly, accept your child for who they are, and help them do the same. Teach your child that nobody is perfect, and that everyone makes mistakes. Show them how to learn and grow from their mistakes, and let them know that you also make mistakes.   Children with high self esteem are able to take lessons from mistakes and apply them down the road.  A child with low self esteem become frustrated and resort to self-depreciating behavior, such as calling themselves 'stupid' and vowing to 'never try that again.' 

Help your child discover their abilities and talents, and encourage outlets for them to build on and improve them.  Praise a child not only for improvements in abilities and skills, but also for the traits they naturally possess. Child Health Nursing: Partnering with Children and Families (2nd Edition)

Encourage your child to make positive choices.  Open an honest dialog with your child and discuss the possibilities with them.  Children who learn skills for making positive choices when they are younger are well-prepared for the tougher choices they have to make when they are older. 

Ensure that you spend lots of quality time with your child, at least once a week. Whether you are shooting baskets or going out to grab a hamburger, take time to talk and keep in touch.  If you find it difficult to squeeze in quality time during a hectic week, take the time to talk about things during the drive to school or while they are helping you put the groceries away. 

Health, Safety, and Nutrition for the Young Child

    

Crafting with Kids

Most children love to do craft projects, and this can be a fun way to teach them new things.  There are endless possibilities to how you can do this.  Begin gathering supplies that they can use when they would like to.  Here are a few suggestions.

Start collecting objects that can be reused.  Small baby food containers, empty toilet rolls, twist ties from bread bags, small cardboard boxes, and old birthday cards are some ideas.  Put them in a box with some markers, glue, scissors, and heavy cardstock and let your child’s imagination flow.

Teach them about volcanoes and then make a volcano from clay or playdough.  You can make a playdough that you can dry, or simply reuse when finished.  Or get some paint and paper and create a volcano through painting.  Volcanoes are just one idea; you could use any subject to teach through crafts.

Scrapbooking is a fun activity with kids and can be really simple.  Find some items that they can add to a scrapbook, like the confetti from their birthday party, the cards they received, and a balloon.  Use these objects to decorate the scrapbook page and include the pictures from their party.  Show them how to journal to help them record their thoughts from that event.

Teach Yourself VISUALLY Crafting with Kids (Teach Yourself VISUALLY Consumer)

Make a craft box with different types of crafts they can use.  Include paper, markers, crayons, paints, glues, tape, wood sticks, and other items.  Back to school sales are a great time to stock up on some of these supplies.

Allowing your kids to create with crafts gives them an outlet for the creativity that we want to bloom inside.  Make sure you marvel at their creation, and they will love you for it.

Every Day's a Holiday: Year-Round Crafting with Kids

What Shall We Do Today?

Do As I Say and As I Do

Children learn to imitate at a very young age.  It's how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments they watch you closely and pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. Your examples become permanent images, which will shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life. 

It's important to be responsible, consistent and loving with your child.  This also holds true for the relationship you have with your spouse, your parents, and other family members and friends that are also a part of your child's life.  Own up to mistakes when you make them, and communicate open and honestly with all family members.  

It's also important to take good care of yourself.  When we're focusing on what's best for our child it's easy to neglect our own needs.  Your child and your family are counting on you physically and emotionally, so it's imperative that you teach your child by example that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of them and the rest of your family.  This shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well.  

This is an important step in teaching your child about self esteem.  This may involve getting a sitter and treating yourself out to dinner and a movie, or doing another favorite activity on your own.  This teaches your child that you are not only their parent, but your own person with your interests and needs, and also gives them a chance to show you how well they can do without you with them for a while. 

It's also important to nurture your relationship with your spouse.  Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with one another, and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what a healthy marriage should be like.

  

You'll soon see your child patterning many of his behaviors after your own.  So make sure that what you say and do around your child will help build a strong sense of security and self esteem. 

Imitation in Children (Phoenix Books)

Excuse Me!: A Little Book of Manners

Children's Rhymes, Children's Games, Children's Songs, Children's Stories; A Book for Bairns and Big Folk

Control your Anger, Don't let it Control You

Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition.  But it can be a terrifying and degrading experience for your child if you're taking your anger out on them.  Physical and verbal abuse of a child can have lasting and lethal implications, so it's crucial that as a parent, you do whatever necessary to get your anger in check. 

As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger.  If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself.  If you don't, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline.

Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren't fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that's what they'll most likely grow into as well. 

It's important to 'pick your battles' when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don't warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry.  But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn't worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you're the one in control of your anger; don't let your anger control you.  Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong. 

      

"Because" Just Isn't the Answer

The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask (Pre-K through 2nd Grade): The Best Answers to the Toughest, Smartest, and Most Awkward Questions Kids Always Ask

Children are inquisitive by nature.  When they are younger, it's usually because they want to better understand something.  When they are older, it's because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way.  Regardless of their age, it's imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.  How Come? Every Kid's Science Questions Explained

Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it's important that they be home from their friend's home at a certain time or why they aren't allowed to play ball in the house.  But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy.  So when a young child asks "Why?" or "Why not?" when they are told they can't play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you've set forth, simply explain to them that "because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you."  You should avoid using the term, "Because I said so," as that only adds to the child's frustration and confusion. Questions for Kids: A Book to Discover a Child's Imagination and Knowledge

Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation.  When they question "Why?" or "Why not?" it's best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning.  "I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist's office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can't be late."  It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule.  "If you are not home by 10 p.m., you'll be grounded from going to your friend's house for a week." Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.  Really, Really Big Questions

Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker.  So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it's their way of understanding their world around them.  Questions Children Ask

Black Single Parents: Seek Help And You Shall Receive

Single Parents in Black America: A Study in Culture and Legitimacy

If before single parents were being scorned in public and were regarded as immorals, this attitude has, fortunately, been reversed in our days. Single or divorced parents are treated equally and are in fact being given special considerations by the Federal Government because of the hardships that single parents are facing in order to properly raise a child or children.

This special considerations are not only for 'white' Americans. Black single parents, just like any other citizens of the United States, may avail of the special programs that the Federal Government has for American single parents.


In Arkansas, black single parents may enrol for a scholarship program. They may attend college for free, while they receive a monthly stipend to help their way in school. In Arkansas, they believe that if black single parents are educated, or any other American single parents for that matter, their child or children will grow up a better person and citizen.

Everything starts from a family; and in Arkansas, they think that not only a household with a mother or a father can be properly called a family. Even a family being headed by a black single parent can create a happy, successful and peaceful family.

Black single parents who are currently jobless may get assistance from the local government for job placement. The local government will locate a job near the residence of the applicant so as for him or her to manage his or her household while he or she is earning for a living.

In fact, while a black single parent is in the process of job hunting, the local government may assist him or her with the monthly expenses that his or her household may accrue, until such a time he or she finds a job.

Local governments may suggest to black single parents, especially females, to work home based so that they can have more quality time with their child or children. It is now a fact that the internet is not just a medium where a black single parent may meet a new date. Everyone, especially those who has the will to do so, may earn decently through the internet. The Black Book for Single Moms: 30 Days of Inspiration

Top online shopping marts on the net today rake if not millions, billions of dollar as profit. Black single parents can partake too with the yearly billion dollars of marketing and for profit transactions in the internet. They can sell their own goods via net, and they can offer too their services via net. 

They can work as a virtual secretary, content writer, forum posters (yes, they can be paid for that), or marketing or ad clickers. There are various legitimate jobs on the internet.  All they have to do is scout via net for a telecommuting job and check their registration at the Securities and Exchange Commission if they really are a legitimate online business.

For household management, black single parents may find group therapy sessions designed for single parents helpful. Group therapy sessions are not only for the disturbed; these help groups are created with the help of the local government to assist white and black single parents in household management. 

Even before problems arise, this help groups are there to teach white and black single parents on how to maintain harmony in his or her household and how to be both a mom and a dad to their child or children.

So, of course, when problems arise, these help group will support white and black single parents all the way.  They will serve as a shoulder to lean on for white and black single parents who are not with any person to confide their problems with. Besides, sharing ones problems with a co-single parent is the same as sharing ones problems to a friend who understands.

White and black single parents must not pass the opportunities that the local government has in store for them. They can't stubbornly claim that they can raise their child or children on their own. They must accept the help that the local government has extended for them. These help are for the betterment of their household and should not be passed up simply for pride.Baby Jogger Black Parent Console for Mini Single & Double Strollers

Connect With Your Child But Don't Overdo It

Discover The Secret Of Marriage Through Videos AndAudios. Your Marriage Can Be Improved Or Saved If You Know The Secret!

We all want to connect and be involved with our child.  Children of involved parents generally feel more confident, assured and have a higher level of self esteem.  They excel in school and do well in extracurricular activities and with their hobbies.  Connect with Your Grandkids: Fun Ways to Bridge the Miles

But is there such a thing as too much involvement? It's imperative when you're becoming involved with your school-aged child's activities and academics that you recognize the line of what being too involved can be. 

Remember, you're becoming involved in your child's life.  It's important that you don't intrude too much upon it.  Children need their space and privacy and they need to be able to develop their own skills, talents and abilities.  In our eagerness to help our child succeed, it's tempting to want to step in and start doing things for them because you feel they are doing it incorrectly or inadequately.  But remember, you had to learn too, and this is their chance to learn on their own.  The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time

Be there to encourage and support your child, and offer praise at a job well done.  But also remember to step back and allow your child to learn from their own mistakes, and to develop their own way of doing things. We all know from our own life experiences that there's always more than just one way to do something, and just because your child is doing it differently than you would doesn't make it wrong.  Who knows, it could present a terrific opportunity for you to learn from your child as well. 

In addition, try not to become too overbearing or nosy when it comes to their social life.  Be available for them should they need to talk and encourage them to share their troubles with you so you can help them sort through a problem.  But if they say they don't want to talk about it or they just need some time to figure things out for themselves, respect that need by letting them know you're available whenever they need you.  This is an important part of growing up and allowing a child to figure his own way through things is an integral part of that process.

Close Kids - Connect Your Children For Life 

Extreme Kids: HT Connect with Your Children Through Todays Extreme (and not so extreme) Sports

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby